mutant growth

I sit here working. The view from my desk is of our backyard. First there is my herb garden, then a grassy slope down to a pool and a forest. Sometimes I see deer there. But today something obstructs my view. My mutant lettuce. As I wrote before, I am leaving it to grow just to see what happens. But It is starting to look like something out of a bad sci-fi movie, like Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (one of my favorites). Except of course Attack of the Killer Lettuces would be less bloody because there is nothing red in lettuce. Anyway, looking at it I have to wonder if this is one of those things that resulted from the fall. Did eve wake up after that awful day to find giant lettuces taking over her garden?

I need to measure it.

On with my birkenstocks, I grab one of the many tape measures we have laying around the house from all our remodling and tromp outside. I try to avoid stepping on all the polite little herb plants that surround THE LETTUCE. They haven't complained yet but if THE LETTUCE gets any taller it will threaten their sunlight. Standing in the middle of the garden I measure.

It is 67 inches tall.

Which means it is 7.25 inches taller than I am.