December 2004 Archives

Bryan is a blur in the kitchen preparing our christmas dinner.

Daniel's foray into the art of clay results in this wonderful gift for mom.

This morning I made porridge. Why? Mostly because I have been craving it for days now, but there is another reason. It takes half an hour to make.

So, this morning was an hour for yoga and a half an hour for porridge.

Doesn't that sound extravagant? Who has time for that? Stirring and stirring felt alot like some sort of meditational prayer. For someone like me this was an act of open rebellion. In my house my family has given me pet names. The Salad Queen, because although I hate most forms of cooking I make a really good salad. The Coffee Troll, because I am the one that seems to need the coffee most and fastest first thing in the morning and on the days my husband makes it I go a little crazy when he multitasks while making it because it takes longer. Another favorite title and the one that probably sums up most of my neurosis is, The Time Nazi. If in fact I ever went into therapy there is no doubt in my mind that the doc could have a field day with this. I think every household actually needs a time nazi. This person makes sure the bills get paid on time and other mundane things like that. For me the characteristic that earns the title also allows me to be productive in my work. But putting the positives aside there is a reason that the title sounds negative. Being overly focused on time can be a spiritual block and is probably why I have never been able to understand the Mary/Martha story. I always relate to the one who is doing the work and think that the one sitting at Jesus feet is a lazy slob. It is sobering to know that there is a lesson from Jesus and if I were the one in the picture the lion's share of that lesson would be aimed at me.

So today I made porridge as a spiritual discipline. It was yummy. Brown sugar on top, all melty and good. I am taking a stand. I refuse to descend into a place where there is no room to think about Jesus because there are too many presents to wrap. Slowing down is a totally counter cultural behavior especially at this time of year but I am going to attempt it. Slowing down may sound easy but it is not. Especially when the 3 minutes of relaxation that intros into a yoga workout seems to take forever, and 30 minutes to make porridge seems like eternity. But I am working on it.

out of the closet

I got a warm fuzzy a couple of days ago when I realized what really turns me on. I love to see other artists discovering their artistic voice. Having been in the support position to my husband's music ministry for so many years must have had something to do with it, but honestly until now I didn't realize how strongly I feel about the encouragement of visual artists. You think I would have clued in a little sooner considering my whole business is based on the connection of artists and ministries. But I guess what has emerged from a simple idea is the realization that there are a lot of artists out there that don't value themselves as artists and therefore stunt there own creative spirit.

I was reminded of this while on the phone with my brother-in-law, a gifted photographer who doesn't know how gifted he is. However the phone conversation wasn't about him it was about his wife. She is a painter. I had emailed him about some of his work on the planet and in some of the email banter I asked him when his talented wife was going to start contributing. So later, while on the phone, he explained that she doesn't think she is good enough.

Who does.

But there was more to this then the regular swing of self doubt that plagues every artist including yours truly. This was something deeper. Something that if left alone would never allow the girl to find the art in her soul. Brother-in-law went on to mention family history and the lack of encouragement, the need for perfection, and a number of other things that hindered her.

I started to feel a burning sensation. A kind of positive anxiety(that is the only way I know how to describe it.)The kind of feeling you get when you know you need to do something. I know there is something to this because it is the only thing that I ever extrovert about.

So I prompted him again about encouraging her to get some of her art to me for the planet. I know our little site is not the end-all "you have arrived" experience for an artist, but there is something about seeing your work online. And what is even better is knowing that people all over the world are seeing it in various ministry settings. We had a couple of churches from Australia sign up just yesterday. The one that I think is so cool is the church in Malaysia. Anyway, the point is it is encouraging to know that your artistic expression can have further reaching impact than just inside a gallery, or for some, storage.

And for me, seeing another artist encouraged, fanned to life like a flame, well that just gives me a buzz.

So, I sent off a copy of The Artist's Way*, to my sister-in-law in hopes to begin the process of bringing another artist out of the closet.

I have a very patient and tolerant son. He has posed for me many times without complaint. He doesn't even mind that he has been digitally manipulated into angels and other stuff. This last one is from harpers ferry in october. What is fun is seeing a chronology in age. One of my favorites is "caucasian aboriginal". I shot it right after he came home from trick-or-treating as a "blue man". I need to shoot this one again now that he is older. Oh Daniel? come put on some blue make-up!

It is the sound of time. Especially this time of year. No matter how much I think I can grab hold of it there is always that annoying but familiar "whooshhh" sound that accompanies the days between thanksgiving and christmas. This year would be different because the pace at the anderson house is a bit slower (or so I thought). Try as I might to keep things at a life-manageable tempo I see the date on the calendar and wonder what happened. And here I thought I might just get some chrismas cards in the mail before Dec. 30th. Oh well, I guess it will be new years cards instead.

I am steeling myself from a sense of defeat. Just as I think I am ramping up to the holiday, eager and oh-so-prepared for it this year I am hit over the head with the fact that there is too much to do in too little time. Or maybe it is the sense of too many unwanted obligations that the culture this time of year piles on. It is a weird entity that forces you to spend money that you didn't plan to spend, and talk to people that you didn't really want to talk to. Fight traffic, rush rush rush. No blogging for you, there is no time. When did I sign up for this?

In truth, it is probably not the speediness of time, but my own rebellion against obligation that is pressing in. That is it. It is that icky sensation of feeling out of control.

Thank god and Jeff Bezos. What would I do without amazon?