Monday morning. The hectic weekend is over and Bryan is at work. The house is very quiet. The absence of Daniel has struck me in a few ways that I didn't expect. The rhythm that was everyday is somehow missing a beat. I am not feeling really emotional yet, it is just the noticing of little things. Like expecting him to come up the stairs last night for his evening ice cream (another anderson ritual that had emerged over the years-the guys having ice cream before bed). Or having dinner at home last night without that third person at the table. This morning I thought I heard him in the bathroom and realizing (of course) that it was actually Bryan.
weird little things. Like your mind expects something and so it fills in the gaps.
I was going to clean his room today. It is a disaster after packing the things he needed and leaving the things he didn't... all over the floor. But in our remodel mode yesterday we purchased tile and bath fixtures and his room seemed like the perfect place to put the stuff.
So there is a toilet in the middle of his room.
Which makes the cleaning seem sort of pointless.
And standing in that room feels...
odd.
It doesn't look all that different. The bed is the same, the rug is still there, a bunch of Daniel's stuff is strewn around making it seem sort of like he is there. But there is enough of his stuff that is missing that it feels wrong, off-kilter somehow.
weird.
This will take some getting used to.
I can lend you a returned 21 year old to help ease the shock. Sorry couldn't resist. I'm sure it is so strange. I do remember when David moved out that I was unusually glad to see him when he stopped by sometimes. Unfortunately now he has returned for an extended period and he hasn't informed us as to how long that could be. Hopefully he will at least leave the same time Jordan does.