Woman: "I hope you haven't DAMAGED it"...
Me, turning to woman: "What... what do you mean..,"
Indignant, Woman: "YOU are leaning on my car, You BETTER NOT have DAMAGED IT"...
Me, backing away from car(that I was not leaning on but standing next too), "I am sorry, we were just standing here talking...,"
This was the diologue that took place in the street as we were dropping Daniel off at a friend's apartment in baltimore last saturday. He had generously offered to help this friend move her stuff into her new apartment and so upon spotting her, and her parents, Bryan pulled the car to the side of the road to let Daniel out of the car. Her parents approached, and while the car was running we all got out of the car for a quick impromptu meeting. Handshakes and pleasantries were exchanged at the slight side of the road, but sort of in the middle of the street next to a row of parked cars. No traffic on this somewhat quiet street and so we felt comfortable to chit chat a bit without rudely jumping into our car. The six of us talking briefly about the upcoming year. The sun is shining, birds are singing, and then...
two african american women approach us and the dialogue begins...
In a very snotty defensive and unnecessary tone of voice, "I hope you haven't DAMAGED it".
and you read the rest of the diologue. Actually there was more but that was the jist. Daniel's friend, Cara's father was leaning against the mirror on this woman's car, and I was standing beside him when the verbal pelting insued.
I realize that personal space in our country is very important. I also realize that the value that we place on our material posessions is at an all time high. I even realize that when living in a stressed out environement of sheer entitlement one can become a little testy.
But there was one thing about the diologuing woman that really pissed me off...
she and her friend were holding bibles.
Starving children in the world, war, disease, pain and suffering, but this woman gets unnerved because this guy is leaning against her car.
I guess I have so much higher expectations for the christian class. But what I really wondered is that if this woman had been aware that I was a "fellow christian" would she have behaved differently? And this is where the real rub is for me... the us and them. I am guessing that in her pious state this woman had one of those "I must be better than you" moments that is sometimes perpetuated by the wholier than thou. Making the assumption that this group standing next to her car was in the "lost" category she mustered the righteous indignation to put us in our place.
I wonder which lord gave her the commandments to do that.
While holding a black bound copy of "Holy Scriptures" she managed to do everything opposite of what they teach.
OK, maybe she was a newbee.
Or
Maybe she had just got the book off of Amazon and hadn't had a chance to crack the cover yet.
Or
Maybe she had just broken up with her boyfriend who had an annoying habit of leaning on her car.
Or...
well there are a thousand excuses. Except they are all pretty lame.
And the level of importance placed on a behavior compared to what we are called to be as disciples...well...
Call me crazy but I don't think "love thy neighbor" is anywhere near "defend thy car".
Anyway, fortunately I did not have the tongue to lash out at this woman, just the unnecessary apology while partially paralyzed by astonishment. Which is kind of a drag because I thought of ten very eloquent things that I could have said to her about an hour later. Ok maybe that was fruit of the spirit kicking in.
But seriously it makes me sad that somewhere along the line something sinister has crept into people who proudly wear the banner of Christ across their chest. Is it any wonder that some of us have stepped away from the institution that is producing these people. Of course I am brandishing my own brand of judgement here, but I have to ask the question...
What if it were Christ leaning on her car?
Mr 12:30-31 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these."
Php 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.
Things like this make me ashamed to claim I am a Christian. I wonder if she had other issues going on like racism. Sorry you had to experience such ugliness. The one thing that always gives me hope and a giggle is that God will have that event come back and bite her in the butt someday.
You were in baltimore city, like Marta mentioned, there had to be a hint of racism in her reaction. As you know whatever is taught in church is left right there in the church for many christian folks. Sad indeed.
I think that you both have something there. Baltimore does have a racially charged tone to it, and that could have been her issue... a white man leaning on her car. I guess that is why I am glad that I held my tongue. As hurt as I felt, I will never know then depths of issues that may have provoked her...
we are only human.